23 Comments
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Wendi Schneider's avatar

I’m so sorry for this deep depression and hope the medications can be tweaked effectively. I hope you can access the beautiful parts of yourself that emanate in your stunning and powerful work. šŸ•Šļø

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Richard Tuschman's avatar

Thank you, Wendi, much appreciated.

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Lori Pond's avatar

Dear Richard: As a fellow sufferer of mental illness, I thank you for your courage and deep display of vulnerability. I think it is so important to openly discuss mental health/illness. Those of us who have suffered from it need to know we’re not alone. We can build strength, community and needed awareness about this subject that is still not talked about nearly enough. I wish you the best during your life’s journey.

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Richard Tuschman's avatar

Lori, thank you so much for your wise and insightful comments. I agree with absolutely everything you said. Again, thank you. Wishing you the best during your life's journey as well.

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Paula Goldman's avatar

Writing this is a huge achievement, dear Richard. Looking forward to talking soon.

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Hilary Kliros's avatar

Dear Richard,

I hope that you get stronger each day.. your work is beautiful and inspiring ! It is calling for you ..🌈🌻

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Richard Tuschman's avatar

Thank you so much, Hilary!!

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Cindy Hansen's avatar

Richard, thank you for writing this piece which was surely incredibly difficult. I'm also grateful to your supportive family and professionals who are helping to keep you safe. So grateful!

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Richard Tuschman's avatar

Thank you for your kind and supportive words, Cindy. They mean a lot to me!

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Jeffrey Good's avatar

So sorry to hear of your struggle, Richard. Diana and I are sending you big love from Maine and wishing you patience, peace and an abiding sense of the warm light that shines from you and into the hearts of so many -- including us.

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Richard Tuschman's avatar

Thank you, Jeff for your kind words of love and support. I deeply appreciate you taking the time write, and I hope all is well with you and Diana. Sending love back to you both.

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Carolyn Bell's avatar

So sorry to hear this. I wish you a speedy recovery. Have you considered ketamine? It has been a miracle for me. In a doctor-controlled setting, of course.

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Richard Tuschman's avatar

Thank you, Carolyn, and thank you for sharing your positive experience with ketamine. My understanding is that ketamine is not usually prescribed for bipolar patients, but I will look into it further.

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Paul Fortes's avatar

Major depression has to be among the worst conditions that any human being should be forced to bear. My dad suffered from Panic disorder, and my mom has suffered from major depression for decades. These are horrible conditions to witness in a loved one. Despite the genetic predisposition, I’ve not been afflicted. I remember dad calling me many years ago before he passed away with a warning that if I didn’t do something to help him with his uncontrolled emotional state that ā€œhe would take care of itā€. Scary words to hear from someone you love deeply. And mom could not be a kinder and more gentle and generous soul to bear the indignity of decades of crushing clinic depression. I understand you and your story. Hang in there! As you quoted, the happiness we experience in life can’t truly be appreciated without the experience of its counter.

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Richard Tuschman's avatar

Thanks so much for sharing your family experience, Paul. Though you personally aren't afflicted (thankfully!), your story illustrates the unfortunate ripple effect the disease has. My grandmother and two uncles were bipolar, while my mother and my two siblings were spared (I'm the lucky one). But EVERYONE's life was affected.

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Paul Fortes's avatar

Hi Richard!

Thought I’d share this painting that I’m thinking of acquiring. It’s by an Alsatian artist named Lucien Weill. It reminds me of Grant Wood’s American Gothic, which itself was inspired by Northern Renaissance paintings that Wood saw during his trips to Europe!

(Look at your text for the image)

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Shari Yantra Marcacci's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing your deep personal story! My father has bipolar disease, so I am very familiar with what you describe and the struggle you are going through. I think it's wonderful that you can so clearly write about your state of mind and what you are and have been going through! Hope you can feel creative very soon. I so admire your work!

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Richard Tuschman's avatar

Thank you, Shari, for your very kind and thoughtful comments. Much appreciated!

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Eva T's avatar

Richard, I’m so moved by your ability to observe and describe your experience with such insight and eloquence. Thank you for taking the risk to reveal your vulnerabilities and the harrowing inner odyssey you’ve been on. Writing is an act of reclamation. Your words also help to connect us as humans in our darkest, most isolated places. Have you read Kay Jameson’s memoir, An Unquiet Mind, about her experiences as a psychiatrist with bipolar 1 disorder? It’s exquisite and may offer a source of validation and compassion. May you experience more hours of ease that turn into days that turn into months. May your creative instincts help heal you and guide you. I’m proud to call you family and I’m rooting for you. Sending care and love, Eva

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Richard Tuschman's avatar

Eva, thank you so much for your incredibly kind and eloquent words. I'm kind of blown away. I read Kay Jamison's memoir many years ago, but thanks for reminding me it's due for a rereading. Thank you also for your warm, wise words of encouragement. I am so touched, and of course also incredibly proud to call you family as well. Sending much love back to you, Richard

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Elk's avatar

Sorry to see this. Hope you recover soon and are back to your creative self. I have experience with bipolar disorder having been married to someone who lives with it and all that it entails. Wish you the best.

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Richard Tuschman's avatar

Thank you for your kind words. And yes, unfortunately bipolar affects everyone in its orbit, as you obviously well know.

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Richard Tuschman's avatar

Thank you, Paula!!

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